See; what I see...

    Sitting in an office, my eyes look around for any source of intrigue. Eventually, my gaze fixes on this potrait. I have seen this portrait a million times, in almost every office. But this time, it seems quite different. I want you all to also see what I saw. As I looked at Quaid-e-Azam's well known face, I start exploring things that I had never though of before. His face was serious yet hinted his obvious intelligence. His expressions depicted his alertness yet he maintains his dignified posture like a calm, deep sea. His eyes, yes, the eyes had a vision. A vision that was far beyond what we hear on the radio, watch on the television or read in books, newspapers and articles. It was a vision of the future. It was this vision that he saw, and wanted us all to see. Similarly, I want you to see, what I see, as I stand here and take the concept of "seeing" to futher levels of perception.

    See what I see; not just moving pictures of the world but, the stories that every picture tells. See what I see; not just random faces of living creatures, but the emotions that blossom in their hearts and the faith that seeps deep in their souls. See what I see; not the amount or magnitude of attacks a super power country does, but the homeless orphans from third world countries who dream of becoming doctors, engineers, entertainers and businessmen. See what I see; not two rival neighbouring countries at the verge of a silent, cold war but two extremely different nations who spent several centuries together, in unity, before the greatest migration of the world's history. Do you see what I see? A sight not just for the eyes, but for the mind, the heart and the soul. This sight is rooted deep in our senses giving us a vision. This sight is what brought revolutions like that in France and Russia.

    Words out of emotional tantrums and exaggeration of the media is not what is needed. It is the vision, the sight to see and percieve for the better, that is needed. Silence may prove to be a great weapon. It indicates the static omen of a storm to come. Words are one's strength, they should be used wisely. What I see, is quite the contrary. I see people bluffing about what they can do for the welfare of the society. Yet, nothing has been put to action. If you see what I see, you could measure the importance of actions more than words.

    If only you could see what I see, the world would seem to be such a different place. In order to see what I see, only one vital key is required to be adapted, that is, positive thinking. Think positive and your vision shall broaden beyond the horizons of your imagination. Infinity is where your own self refrains to go beyond. Explore infinity and see what no one else can see. See what everyone should see, what I want you to see. See, what I see...

Does Love really exist?

Love.
One of the most unexplainable and undefinable terms ever to be known in the history of mankind. Some people are obsessive and optimistic with the whole concept of being in love. As someone said, it happens to be that

"I am in love, with the idea of being in love."

Whereas, on the other hand, others bitterly criticize love, altogether. It's rarely seen, that someone has a neutral experience or comment regarding this phenomenal issue. In short, 'love' is a highly misunderstood and misused (even abused!) term and the concept behind it is even more complex.

Love, itself, doesn't seem to be an entity. It's not like other abstract emotions like anger or sorrow. It's a vague cloud that blurs your vision. When you don't understand the emotional tsunami that you undergo, you claim to be in love.

For me, love does not independently exist. It is an emotional black hole. There are certain emotional necessities which a single person can not attain, without the help of an intimate relationship. The level of intimacy required, the understanding, emotions required and needs to be fulfilled vary from person to person. The amalgamation of these various aspects create a mush of something that cannot be clearly identified. So, we call it, love.

Heart to Heart; From a daughter to her father.

Being in a slightly melancholic state, I feel a strong bond between my soul and the eternal existence of my father.
A line that seems to be circulating in my conscious is:

I want to be envied, not pitied

I shall not let any hurdle be a source of degradation. Mortality is a bitter truth, I've digested that many years ago. Now, I only explore the strength that can aid me to take over the odds against me.

I agree, that there is this emptiness that I have buried inside myself for the past nineteen years. But it doesn't mean that I feel discontented or incomplete in any way. Not at all. I share something even more beautiful than many people, whose fathers are alive. I am proud of it. That is what completes me.

Death is only the absence of a physical existence. Death does not have the power to seize the emotions that dwell within a soul. My father might not physically be there to do the things that dads do for their kids. But he's always there, somewhere out in the beauty of nature amalgamated with the supernatural.

People hold their father's hand and say, "This is my dad." I stand before the world, hold my mother's hand and pretty much feel the same.

His love envelopes me. It doesn't leave me for a spare millisecond. It gives me strength, power, encouragement and security that a father would give to his daughter.

I do not shed a tear, but it doesn't mean that I do not miss him. Yes, I miss him. But why should I cry and be weak? It would only hurt him! If he was alive, would he want me to behave in such a manner? No. Hence, I shall not do so either. I will try my best to be obedient towards his dreams and expectations related to me.

The only thing that makes me sad, is what I see around me. People are so ungrateful and take their parents' lives for granted. It is true, when people say, "Ask someone who doesn't have parents/a parent." Something is better than nothing, in this case, they are everything! The bitter fact is that, once they'll be gone, you won't get to say what you want to say. No sorries, no "love you", no hugs, no snuggles, no treats and all the other special things. Do that, before it's too late! I do that, even if my dad isn't here.

I literally shower my mom with love everyday! She deserves it and even more. We're the oddest mother and daughter. Crazy at heart, but very sober in conduct. It's amazing, what I share with her. It helps us connect with each other and my father even more.

No matter what, I am daddy's little angel. I always will be that innocent infant that he once held in his arms. That is irreplaceable and eternal.

An effort to understand

Love; one of the most amazing yet unexplainable feelings that any living creature can experience. It's the kind of feeling that can make you, or break you. When it makes you, you couldn't imagine of feeling any better. But when it breaks you, you couldn't feel more shattered.
Love envelopes you and dawns new horizons upon you. You see things in ways you never did before.  But sometimes, love does something beyond changing your external paradigm. It helps you explore yourself. You question yourself of who you are, where you stand and what you want. Your needs, aims, requirements, cravings, ambitions and emotions reflect in the mirror of love.
The one who you fall in love with, is actually, a reflection of your own self. You see your happiness in them. They seem to contain all the ingredients to the life you'd want till death.

Random Theory

A person is known, by the shoes he wears. It shows what his choice of shoes is, what type of shoes he needs to walk, what he is comfortable with, where he might've possibly been and where he plans to go to...

The condition of the shoes also represents life in general. Some people are comfortable in their old shoes and no matter how battered the condition of the shoes might get, they still like to wear those shoes. Similarly some people prefer their personal comfort zones and lifestyle, prefer not to change it. Even if they temporarily change it, they still feel better in their favorite shoes.
Muddy and dirty shoes might depict the person's past choice of path. New and clean shoes might indicate maintainable choices or a new change.

Just a general assumption out of keen observation.

Principles and Paradigms

Life

We center it with principles
Everyone has a different center
From material to ambitions
One to the other
And even, one's own self.

Really...

It is beautiful
As long as our paradigm is appropriate.

We tend to get fed up
Hatred, negativity, frustration
It all pressurizes us

But...

All we need to do
Is change our glasses
Clean them, and have a look at our lives, again

We can't see things right
Until our view isn't right
It's like trying to focus on a scenery
With the glasses with the wrong lenses for you

Life

Is how you look at it
Adore what you have
&
Strive for what you want

Blindfolded

It amazes me, how people can act innocent, and slyly fulfill their selfish needs. It becomes difficult to distinguish between feeling dumbstruck and awestruck.
Being clever is a trait. But using it in a productive manner, is an art. The masters of this art have indeed, excelled in many ways.
All this creates an image of parasites, feeding on their nutritiously beneficial hosts. This mutual relationship is just a matter of survival. A building cannot stand erect without having it's own base, and it's own foundation. If you expect to progress using your neighbors ladder, eventually they'll take that ladder back and you'll fall from that state of elevation, which you were so proud of.
As for those, who struggle to elevate from scratch to a masterpiece, are true legends. Attaining that status is not easy, as the responsibility solely lies upon the shoulders of that person, who is determined.
The weather never remains the same, some days are good, others might not be so good. But facing each day, knowing that you'll finally get through it, is the true spirit of success.
Passion and craze for your aim, is all that matters. The hurdles are just an excuse to be challenged.

Inspiration

People come and go, from this world. We happen to connect with a few of these people, during this life of ours. Some of these people, create an impact upon us where others just move on.
The beauty of having the connection with someone, as an inspiration, is indeed a special one. We claim to have ideals, who we are inspired from. These ideals might not be, what we'd say, perfect, but I guess inspiration is not about perfection. It is about the influence that someone can have on you.
My internally nagging yet, developed socialization abilities have given be a broad spectrum of human nature to make a choice of being inspired from.
Life is what we make of it, ourselves. Our inspirations gives us strength to remain motivated on the path that we chose for ourselves. We learn from these figures and learning starts from one of the places that have always been a target of ridicule by students, Educational Institutions.
But no matter how much we express our hatred for this shrine of knowledge, I would confess, it really does build your personality.
You get to interact with people who, otherwise, you might never even have noticed! A collaboration of generations, the students, the teachers and the higher faculties, all merge together under the same "roof". This is where my inspiration proceeds.
My inspiration begins with the absolutely amazing woman whom I was blessed to be the daughter of. She was the one who told me to make my teachers, my friends. That was the point where my definition of friendship changed.
I felt like a dried up piece of foam, ready to soak in all the knowledge that I could retain in myself. But not all the knowledge was the kind that I could connect with. It's like not enjoying every subject you have to study.
The amusing thing is, I realized my inspiration after quite a while. It was a slow progress. I don't regret being sluggish in that perspective, I know others have gone far beyond me in being inspired. I'm just glad that I realized my inspiration.

My inspiration is, first and foremost, my mother, of course. And a teacher, in particular. Who I unconsciously seem to relate myself to, so well, that that connection seems to guide me. I'm glad to have them in my life.

Heart To Heart, Life To Life

It's always the beauty, that kills the beast.
And turns the beast, into something beyond beauty.
With the magic spell of love.
That we all dream about, from childhood.
We all have those fairytale perfect stories.
And that one silly human makes those stories real.
Not with their literary description of extensive qualities.
But with those cute imperfections, with those sweet flaws.
It is that love, that completes us.

To Infinity & Beyond?

No matter how far I go, there has to be a limit
Infinity?
It's beyond those limits
Infinity is what we don't and won't want to discover

I'd rather just let it be
Like adding "etc" to something you'd rather not describe

Some things are meant to be left the way they are
For our mind to struggle and think about

People say, there's one world
I say, there as many worlds, as the total population of every living creature
Everyone has their own world
Scientists think they've geometrically measured the world
But the world is larger for a paramecium as compared to an elephant
It's how you look at things, how and what you want your world to be
The world for a recluse is even smaller than that of a paramecium
The more you explore the world, the more you explore yourself, the bigger your world becomes

Give me a reason, for me to believe in...

If everything had a reason, we'd know the meaning of everything. The whole point of discovering knowledge and unveiling mysteries would extinct.
There would be no point left in life, to struggle and live. When the consequences of events would already be known, the point of performing the action would be baseless.
Reasons are not purely pre-existent, we create reasons. Our hypothesis are extensive. We have a whole subconscious of hypothetical encyclopedias.
Causes and their effects. Actions and their reactions. Is it that simple?
No, not at all.

We all are interwoven threads of a glorious network created by a Supreme Power. This network is named, The Universe. Everything that exists here, is so intertwined, that nature goes on in a sequence. From one event to another. When one event effects another, without any hypothetical cause that we can suggest, we call it luck or fate.

Selfless or Selfish?

Why is his love all she knows? Why would he catch a grenade for her?

Sometimes, becoming pathetically selfless snatches the point of leading your own life.

If living life for someone else is what life is about, then there would be no concept of individuality. It would be others' life, not yours.
Exaggerated humanity would wipe out the meaning of living your life for yourself.

But extreme selfishness would diminish the existence of humanity. Hasn't enough damage already been done?

The decision lies upon the shoulder of every person. How much weight should someone give to their personal way of life, for themselves and the life they spend for others?

Paradoxical Monologue

Why do you fall for someone, when you might eventually fall apart? Why is it all about falling, is love a ditch where you fall in and out? Why would someone be down if they are high on infatuation?

 .

Sorry, I don't do whys

But why?

I said I don't do whys, what part of it don't you understand?

The part where you refuse to look at reality in the eye and say, "thats why"

Everyone's reality has a different pair of eyes.

The eyes of reality, are the eyes of the beholder.

That's why

I don't do whys...

P. S. "I don't do whys." is quoted from the movie Bandslam (2009).

A new horizon

A new horizon seems to be dawning. What shall it lead to? A catastrophe or brilliant mirage?
Where approaches seem to change, consciousness seems to evolve. Is this a revolution, or realization?
Many unanswered questions, left upon time, to answer. And what shall we do with the answers? They shall only satisfy the hunger of our minds and souls. Because having solid facts is what human nature always craves for. We always want properly proportioned measures of life. Though, equilibrium faces constant turbulence, whether evident or rather suppressed.
Obvious or not, things are changing, they always have, they always will. Now, it depends upon the mind, to accept it or not. Whatever our mind accepts, is what we believe and whatever our mind rejects, if what we refuse to believe. The world is what we want it to be. Everyone has their own world, they prefer to include the things they like, and exclude the things that they do not like. Our world keeps on changing, with the development of our acceptance and tolerance. Recluses are those, with the most limited and self-centered worlds of all. But even those, with larger radii of their own worlds, end up saying, "It's a small world after all."
The world isn't small, it is round. If you start running from one point, you can run around the whole world, and end up at the same place, sometime or the other.
What the world is, and what we want it to be, is basically what we make of it.
Make the best of what you've got. It's the only world you're getting, at least, for now.

Fools Never Differ?

       Fools? Who are they? Oh I dare not compile a list, 6 billion humans, and so many to be called fools. But why would we call someone a fool in the first place? Well, I'd say, we divide people on their level of mental capacity to grasp and respond to a situation.
Some of the know-it-alls just blurt out some extensively so-not-understandable compilation of the oddest vocabulary, that one calls them a genius! Start with a certain opinion that we, later on, plea to shut the over flow of wisdom to save us from further doom! This type could be catagorized as overdosed educators.
Some God gifted humans don't need a stimulus to respond to. It's like one of those leaky taps at home, that you prefer to ignore rather than get it fixed. I call them the leaky couldrens inspired by Harry Potter, indeed! It's like it leaks the useful stuff, but it leaks everytime you make anything in it. Otherwise, it's just plain empty.
Then there is the philosophical category. They're like a nuclear reaction of the most amusingly boring philosophies. If we'd ever make an effort to preserve their wisdom, we'd start a new nuclear project called the philosophy plant code d-o-n-t-b-o-t-h-e-r. But I guess my brain is too occupied with the dread of doing the dishes tonight, that I'd even advise someone to do that!
And then comes my favorite category, the fools! These amazing species of human beings are a speculation of wonder. How can one's brain be so ignorant toward the reality of...let me sum it up as...everything!
Some of them seem to have signed a truce with their brain, that they shall percieve. They're brain acts like an inbox, and only an inbox. Yet when it comes to responding, they're brain will shut down like a corrupt operating system of a computer. As soon as you're about to load the movie you downloaded in ages, it computer's screen goes black, then there is that smal spark in the center of the screen, a tiny spark of hope, but then...The blank blackness prevails.
Some fools are quite intriguing. Their intellect is like traffic lights. It goes red and green deciding when to let the traffic pass and when to stop. Intelligence comes and goes, then comes and goes, and comes again yet goes away. But in between the stop and go process, the yellow light lets the slow access of intellect possible, too!
The best and most obvious type of fools, are those, who are like a bathroom and a drain, without a sevege connection! Like a refridgerator without a plug. Like a human with a brain but without a connection for the two to work together. Maybe fools feel too bossed around by their brain and their slogan could be freedom from the conventional intelligance! I think these people are rather brave, to decide to live with their brains but without using them. Just like the saas in Indian Soap dramas has to live with the bahu.
So, my question of the day is, who on earth said that fools never differ? If he were wise, and wise men think alike, then why'd he equalize the fools! Fools do not think alike, I guess, that is why they act alike, which makes them quite the same. Oww, my brain hurts! But God bless the person who made this proverb, he must've been such a naive fella, preaching equality and brotherhood among fools.

Heavy Hearted

The race.
You're always running ahead of your reality. You're ignorant for the sake of survival.
Eventually, there comes a time, when you have to look into the eyes of your reality. No matter how brutal it might be, no matter how much you despise it, it is true and it exists.
When everything seems to be static, life seems to be stagnant, you just don't know what to do about it. It's is the way it is, nothing more, nothing less.
You have certain things, that you want to be more than what they are, but it's not the right time.
You don't have other things, and you just hope that they are the right ones.
Even when you feel that everything is as right as it can get, there are moments, when you probably aren't in the right situation to handle it.
But then, when was life about perfection? You can't expect everything to always be right and perfect.
Expectations are what make life so complicated.
It's never about perfection, it never was. It is about striving for the thing that you think, feel and accept to be perfect.
My perfect isn't necessarily your perfect, and vice versa.

My perfect is about being happy with what you've got, and working hard, being ambitious about getting what you haven't got.
There is no finality to the infinity of perfection. It's a continuous process, like, levels in a video game. You play the game and level by level, it gets tougher. Sometimes, you get the chance to repeat the level and learn from your mistakes. At other times, you have to start all over again.

The key is, to learn from your mistakes. Try to understand the way you can get through life in the best way possible. And the best way isn't universal, it is individual. It's what you think and should know, is the best for you.

Live and love life... It might be short, it might be long, but it can be beautiful, if you want it to be so.

Would you prefer tangling yourself in the thorns? Or ignore the pain, regardless it's existence and enjoy the beauty and pleasure of the roses?

Who I Am

It's all about

" I "

Who? Me? Ah, I'm all about intensity and contradictions.

I am a paradox, my identity is my name. I've spent 19 years in this world, and they've been, what I'd call, an overdose of life. What about my physical features, is that supposed to matter? As I have a physical existence, I guess these things describe much of what to expect from a person's personality.

I'm a student. Majoring in English Literature and Language at a local University. Thanks to my subject and teachers, I've been able to polish and enhance my senses. I'm vigilant and quick. I think before I speak, and I know how to convince people on my point, without any controversy.

My defensive and impulsive skills are extremely strong. I can be witty and sarcastic to down right harsh. I don't like making a mountain out of a molehill, I prefer non-violent and peaceful settlement of disputes. I will never disclose anything that I don't want to, no matter whatever on earth you say to me. I can see through words and detect the motivation behind them. From flattery to sincerity, I know how to categorize words.

My sun sign is Scorpio, and I'm a heck of an astrological sign obsessed maniac. I find my sign interesting, mysterious and it describes me well enough.

I love my eyes. The people who've learned to understand me through my eyes have always been close to me. My eyes lead to a depth of abstraction. I like that about me.

I like being a girl, but I'm neither a feminist, nor a tomboy. I like expressing myself for the way I can be as a girl. But I also like to manage my personality as a human being, keeping in mind gender roles. I have no concern with the whole girls versus boys battle of eternity. Everyone is unique and I respect that.

I'm fiercely determined and independent. I hate when someone doubts my ambitions or my abilities. I am well aware of what I can do and what I can't, or won't. I'll always stand by what I am able to do and won't hesitate to confess what I am not able to do. My strong willpower doesn't allow me to accept defeat easily.

I'm rarely stubborn. I hate nagging. I prefer being persistent about something that I really consider worth the effort. Whether it's a laptop, or a lipgloss.

I am turned on and amused by electronic gadgets. I like cameras and love photography. I am not obsessed with iphones, no matter how amazing it might be. I prefer blackberry.

I am not a social butterfly. But I like intermingling with people who intrigue me. If I appreciate someone's personality, I will socialize with them, even if I'm the one who has to take the first step. Initially, I prefer to observe and analyze the person. Then, if I'd like to take our co-ordination to the next level, I'll open up to them and discuss/share things. At a certain stage, when I find out what that person is like, when totally free and open, then I either keep them in my life or don't. There's nothing in between. Either someone stays in my life, or they don't.

It might be said that the first impression is the last impression, but I'm trying to develop my skills of judging people on the basis of a long term impression. The first impression gives away a lot about the person, indeed. But my judgments are never final, I keep quite a flexible opinion and it might vary from time to time. I can have several opinions about the same person and describe them in many dimensions.

Creativity and Music are my passion. I would never limit them to any certain era, sect or culture. I am creative and appreciate creativity. I love things that challenge and provoke my intellectual abilities. As for music, I listen to almost every main genre of music except for metal rock. I appreciate meaningful music that I can always relate myself to. I love connecting myself to music.
I dislike and disapprove the excess of things, whether material or not. I like to keep a rational proportion.

I am honest even to the point of hurting someone. If you have ask for an opinion, you will get the brutal truth, without any sugar coating. I hate false compliments and do not know how to flatter. However, if I do say something nice, you can be assured that it is truly sincere and is coming straight from the heart.

I can even be downright moody for no apparent reason. I have an annoyingly excellent memory, combined with an inability to let things go. If I want to, I can hold a grudge against someone who did harm. In fact, I rarely forgive and forget.
On the other hand, I always remember a kind gesture forever and repay it. Any kind selfless gesture done to will gain my trust and respect, which is extremely important to me in any relationship, either romantic or not.

Friendship has always been an issue of controversy in my life. But I've learned a lot from it. Those who I befriend, hold a stronger bond than my blood relations in my life. I'm willing to be a true friend as long as you are worth it.
I'm evidently possessive and jealous but on the other hand, extremely loyal. All I could advise you, is to be honest and in return, I will be an amazing friend you will never forget and who will be loyal to you.
Relationships are very personal to me. When something in my life is labelled "private", it is meant to be private.
But if I love and care for someone, I don't hesitate in displaying that in public. Yet, I despise exploiting the sanctity of privacy and destroy anything that penetrates the purity of that relationship.

If you've managed to read this much about me, then I guess I intrigue you, or you're extremely bored and do not have anything to do.

I appreciate the effort.

P. S. I used the word, I, 85 times.