Sunday, May 15, 2011

Heart to Heart; From a daughter to her father.

Being in a slightly melancholic state, I feel a strong bond between my soul and the eternal existence of my father.
A line that seems to be circulating in my conscious is:
I want to be envied, not pitied

I shall not let any hurdle be a source of degradation. Mortality is a bitter truth, I've digested that many years ago. Now, I only explore the strength that can aid me to take over the odds against me.

I agree, that there is this emptiness that I have buried inside myself for the past nineteen years. But it doesn't mean that I feel discontented or incomplete in any way. Not at all. I share something even more beautiful than many people, whose fathers are alive. I am proud of it. That is what completes me.

Death is only the absence of a physical existence. Death does not have the power to seize the emotions that dwell within a soul. My father might not physically be there to do the things that dads do for their kids. But he's always there, somewhere out in the beauty of nature amalgamated with the supernatural.

People hold their father's hand and say, "This is my dad." I stand before the world, hold my mother's hand and pretty much feel the same.

His love envelopes me. It doesn't leave me for a spare millisecond. It gives me strength, power, encouragement and security that a father would give to his daughter.

I do not shed a tear, but it doesn't mean that I do not miss him. Yes, I miss him. But why should I cry and be weak? It would only hurt him! If he was alive, would he want me to behave in such a manner? No. Hence, I shall not do so either. I will try my best to be obedient towards his dreams and expectations related to me.

The only thing that makes me sad, is what I see around me. People are so ungrateful and take their parents' lives for granted. It is true, when people say, "Ask someone who doesn't have parents/a parent." Something is better than nothing, in this case, they are everything! The bitter fact is that, once they'll be gone, you won't get to say what you want to say. No sorries, no "love you", no hugs, no snuggles, no treats and all the other special things. Do that, before it's too late! I do that, even if my dad isn't here.

I literally shower my mom with love everyday! She deserves it and even more. We're the oddest mother and daughter. Crazy at heart, but very sober in conduct. It's amazing, what I share with her. It helps us connect with each other and my father even more.

No matter what, I am daddy's little angel. I always will be that innocent infant that he once held in his arms. That is irreplaceable and eternal.

Monday, May 9, 2011

An effort to understand

Love; one of the most amazing yet unexplainable feelings that any living creature can experience. It's the kind of feeling that can make you, or break you. When it makes you, you couldn't imagine of feeling any better. But when it breaks you, you couldn't feel more shattered.
Love envelopes you and dawns new horizons upon you. You see things in ways you never did before.  But sometimes, love does something beyond changing your external paradigm. It helps you explore yourself. You question yourself of who you are, where you stand and what you want. Your needs, aims, requirements, cravings, ambitions and emotions reflect in the mirror of love.
The one who you fall in love with, is actually, a reflection of your own self. You see your happiness in them. They seem to contain all the ingredients to the life you'd want till death.