Sometimes

Sometimes,
It is better to walk away.
To walk away, and
to not turn back

To cherish the memories

For the way they were, and

for not what they are, or

what they could be

To believe in the good

For it accompanies the bad, and

the change might be

beyond disappointing

To free your soul

For broken shackles

no longer enchain you, and

you can breathe again

To see the light

For the horizon is vast, and

blinding dark lurks behind dawn

after every sunset

Sometimes,

It is better to turn your back

on what was loved

for a greater love awaits.

I concur, Mr. Eliot

Oh yes, it hurts.

Deep down you feel the glass of your heart echoing as it shatters against the hollowness of your soul.

Alas!

The loveless world; a good-for-nothing wasteland.

Momma

Jumping onto her lap, snuggling and cuddling her, kissing her cheek while passing each other in the hallway, laughing at ludicrous jokes or just hugging her. I'd grown so used to these maternal gestures of intimacy as if her touch was the addiction of my skin. After all, I was a prodigy of not only her bio-genetic make up, but also a seed of her heart, a fragment of her soul. My roots generated from her soil but the rest of the plant was an autonomous structure.

While sipping tea from her cup, her eyes were like a cat; vigilant, aware yet calm and collected. She pauses and coughs. I could feel a twinge as my muscles got tense. No, it wasn't the agony of her pain that bothered me. I was irritated by the sight of her discomfort.
She's like a book, I thought to myself, that has traveled around the world for many years from destination to destination. The pages had become battered with time. Some words misprinted, some deliberately scratched out, a few overwritten. Original words majorly misinterpreted.
Her worried eyes fall upon me, full of lingering questions; fundamentally rhetoric. She is tired yet preoccupied with concern. She's sick and would have given up the battle long ago, but no. To this day, she maintains the stance of a queen. She was once a lioness; who has now sought refuge in a cave, far from the caravan. She observes, as others display. Apparently deceptive as it may be, this is not what is to be called defeat. There's a better strategy of action in store. She is preparing a weapon. Years of meticulous efforts are soon to be paid off.

All she does is sit in her cave, paws crossed and eyes wide open.

Beyond the Apparel

Can you be so sure of your judgement? No. For you do not know what stories are hidden in the depths of a soul or the burdens carried by a battered heart. The finality of a verdict is beyond human vision. What one person feels can neither be identical, nor duplicated. Everyone has their own mind to think and heart to feel. Can you relate to others? Yes. As it is human nature to cling on to thing on the base of familiarity.
But there are certain things that can not be explained, not in words, maybe in actions. There are, what I could call, phenomenons that the soul undergoes. It alters the apparently "normal" situation in particular spacio-temporal conditions. Yet it does not alter the soul that has undergone this transition. Instead, it goes into a trance of meditation. One not only ponders, but questions the evolution of such ideas and feelings. The aloofness alienates the person, dragging them into confusion.
Can this mess ever make sense? Maybe. The world of labels approves everything with a name tag on it. But does every single thing need to be tagged with a name? No. It can only be felt, not spoken of. But if it is undefinable, then how is one to convey what they feel? This maze's path circles around back to where you started.

The truth is inevitable, with or without a name.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. 

Khalil Gibran 

Thoughts and Meditations

"It is the silence which proclaims the coming tempest. And when the tempest makes not its appearance, it is because the silence is stronger than the tempest."

- Kahlil Gibran

Feeling the Beauty

Haunted

Life would be so easier if there was a modify or edit button to come along with every event that takes place. Attaining perfection would actually be possible. As the human soul is never satisfied, not only does the bad need to be repaired but the good needs to be better and better, the best.
We prefer holding on to happier memories, it's not possible to forget the bad ones either. Memories have the power to effect your mood when reminded by a certain event of the past. The happy memories are uplifting and encouraging. They are a door to the brighter side of life. On the other hand, memories that are comparatively not so great leave scars. From time to time, these scars remind us of the mistakes we have made. At places, we might've gone wrong and chose the wrong path. Regret and remorse are by products of such events. Would it be better to sulk in despair or regenerate the amputation?

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. (Eleanor Roosevelt)

It takes time to realize that that's not the way things are and shall not be, at least not any time soon. Just because we are surrounded by advanced forms of technology does not mean that all those electro-mechanical laws are applicable to human lives as it would to robots. It leaves us helpless and feeling pathetic. But that's not necessarily the way it has to be. There are a few things that could be tried like growing out of things that you might've clinged on to long ago. Running away from reality might give the impression of being a permanent solution when it is a temporary escape. Sometimes, you have to embrace the bad part of life too. Yes, there is always room for improvement, but only if you realize that imperfections exist. Ignoring or neglecting them is another issue but engulfing yourself in a state of denial is excruciating.
Holding on to things isn't requisite. Moving on would be comparatively exhilarating. Everyone lives their own life. It'd be much easier if we actually took charge of it. If we don't, someone else will. It's like handing over the keys of your car and let the driver take you anywhere they want. Life is too short and precious to give up to someone else.

Jackass of All Trades

It becomes difficult to comprehend how a single individual is prone to sticking his Pinocchio nose in to everything and anything. It's like scattering your energy into various areas. In such conditions, one is unable to shed light upon a specific area, clearly. There are blotches and spots of intermittent rays. Instead, it would be much easier to just converge all that energy and create one strong beam of light that brightens a place that is actually worth the effort.

Chaos Prodigy

Man seems to constantly be struggling. Struggling for or against things; that one shares a love-hate relationship with. We are in a mental and physical state of chaos. We are the product of this chaos. No wonder so many people prefer to just retire from all cliches. After all, everyone has the right to look for their own solutions. The problem lies in our existence. Before human beings, things were already existing, or were they? No one questions the existence of every possible entity the way humans do. This is where religion builds faith and instates the ability to believe.

The choice of faith is a very crucial one.
The pompous part of being a human is that we have this daunting urge to convince and prove our righteousness. Individually and mutually people are fighting for what they think is right. Some people have combined motives, others have comparatively personal ones.
At the end of the day, there is a story behind everything. Sometimes, we are able to figure it out. Other times, the story is out of reach and we have to figure it out for ourselves with the help of a highly complex organ called; the brain. Let's face the music, we all use it every now and then. The questions erupt and overflow. It isn't possible to have everything figured out. Many questions are rhetoric just to let things be the way they are. The fascination of human obsession carries him away every now and then. Not getting what one desires perturbs him. That is when he seeks refuge in escape.

The moment to live in the illusion.  
Close your eyes and shut it all out. Crawl under your bed and sneak out through a tunnel that leads you to where you have figured it all out and it makes sense. No need to fake anything for anyone, not even yourself. That is when you find your true self. 
That illusion is the moment of disillusionment.

Humans

Humans are always catching at a straw. There seems to be a need to cling on to things that seem familiar. The concept of intimacy fascinates many of us. Some shut that part off as if life was digital just like the current mechanical world. Just because we live in a world of machines does not make us machines. No matter how good we are at showing off this facade of being strong like metal, the fact remains undeniable that we are not robots. We are not made of metal or plastic. Though our lives seem pretty dependable on these things. Alas, the amusing by-products of this industrially revolutionized world!
The intriguing part of all of this is that man's essential nature has not changed. Even when surrounded by the bewildering technology, electronic gadgets of fascination and astonishing digitized outburst, man is still the same. It's pleasing to observe the historical gender-biased discussions still prevailing. The whole "guys vs girls"; we rule you drool concept is still in vogue. That proves that humans are intact with their instincts. From the sense of compatibility to spirit of competition, passion to aggression, love to hate, ignorance to knowledge... It is pleasing to know that humans are not extinct. Even though man has devised machines that can replace the human heart and robots of artificial intelligence to replace the human brain, man still thinks and feels just like he always has.

Emancipation from these chains

Free yourself!
From the chains that you have bound yourself in. From the ever tiring reality that surrounds you. Reason, intellect, logic... They all shall intertwine your brain just like strings of wool. There shall be no start and no end. Just a jumble of mess, a heap of dung.
Grow up!
Realize, that the heart is given so much importance for a reason. Emotions do make you helpless. Do not be afraid of it! Stop whining about how weak they make you. Don't complain about the pain they give you. Seek pleasure in the flight of your imagination. Elevate your soul to the heights of heart-felt feelings.
Let go!
You are not meant to hold on to the hard facts and figures of life. Life does not follow binary system. It's like a hour glass that slips by with time. It leaves behind sand dunes of memories. Memories are never associated with logic. They are always associated with emotions. Happy, sad, enraging, jealous, inspirational, silly and crazy memories. Do you think before you feel? Do you send your brain an application of approval before you feel pain when you get hurt or when you laugh with joy?
Believe in love!
Lean your shoulder and cry your heart out. Someone is there who wants to hold you and reassure you that they are always going to be there for you. Yes, there is someone out there, not necessarily for forever, but for as long as possible. There for you. The person who shall make your silly, idealistic, lovey dovey dreams come true. Give your heart out to them. Hurting is a by product, nothing to worry about. The caution snatches the fun from love. Let yourself lose! They don't call it falling in love for nothing. You fall, you don't follow the trend of "look before you leap". No, not here. Don't.
Listen!
Set your soul free, let your emotions flee, feel your heart beat and listen to the rhythm that flows in your veins and pumps life into you every second of the day... for the rest of your life...

Invalid Realiability

Nothing is guaranteed. We can never be assured of anything in this mortal world. Then why do we demand the fulfillment of our expectations? Why do we lead ourselves to the path of self destruction in order to be shattered? Why do we demand trust when trust itself is not worth being trusted?
Many questions, indeed. How much logic shall you evolved? How many theories will you develop? It's all a fool's mind game. Everything is a lame excuse to make life tolerable. Maybe I am cynical... Or maybe, just a realist.

Dreams *pop* Reality

Admit it, we all have our own world of fantasies in our head. It's a refuge, it's a place where you can go and play hide and seek with your real life. Sometimes you hide yourself in your dreams, but eventually reality catches up with you and bursts your delicate bubble. But dreamland is not eternal, it's not real.

Yes, I might be acting cynical. But the truth is the truth. The truth is more like dark chocolate. It's the purest form but it's not the best in taste. Actually, it's the worst in taste. For some, it's inedible. Similarly, confronting the reality is not everyone's piece of cake. But every one has at least one secret that will break your heart.

Girls (of course, even me) dream about getting married to their prince charming. The prince charming will come, sweep her off her feet and take her with him to their palace where they'll live happily ever after. Walt Disney is the most cruel person, in this manner, who provokes us to dream such beautiful dreams and makes us cry when we realize they're just animated cartoons based on bedtime fairy tales. The movies are beautiful and the stories are lovely. I don't doubt that. Most of our childhood is based on them. But expecting such things is a bit far fetched. Why don't we treat our maids like Cinderellas, then? Why doesn't any prince charming go and kiss a girl dying from cancer in a hospital like sleeping beauty? Rarely, we meet such instances. That is why we find them so inspiring.

Reality, is opposed to this. There is no such thing as a perfect prince charming or dream girl princess. Perfect love does not exist. Yet, there is an occurrence of inextricable fates that are apparently like shapeless, ugly puzzle pieces. But they fit in perfectly and make a beautiful picture. Sometimes, the puzzle messes up. The pieces scatter and life becomes a blurry picture. You feel incomplete, like the missing pieces of a puzzle. What you have to do is focus and be patient. Sort the puzzle out, just like a jigsaw puzzle in a child's hands. A child's logic lies in his innocence, in his heart. We grown ups shun our emotions of intellectual basis. Sometimes, it's just better to let things loose and enjoy life, for a change.

Discouraging imagination and restricting dreams to reality is like feeding a human through I.V.s and giving him oxygen through a cylinder. Keeping the whole puzzle metaphor in mind, dreams and reality can be made clear. Dreaming in life is like visualizing the whole picture of the puzzle, the way you want it to be. Reality is picking every piece and putting into it's place. You try, sometimes using your logic, sometimes your instincts and even your heart. At some places, the piece fits. At other places, it doesn't. You don't stop there! You try to fit it somewhere else.

Similarly, if something isn't meant to be somewhere in your life, where you wanted and hoped it to be, then try putting it somewhere else. If that doesn't work, maybe that piece isn't meant to be a part of your puzzle. It'll only complicate your life, being an extra piece that is filling up extra room.

Life isn't easy, but it isn't meant to be made more complicated than it already is.

Random Blessings

I didn't notice her at first. Why should I? She was just another stranger. My whole focus was on getting my work done, as soon as possible. I was drained by the overloaded passengers, especially kiddy packages on the ride back home. It was hard to figure out where my legs were as they seemed to intersect with the legs of school kids sitting in front of me.
"Calm down, you'll be home soon." I thought to myself. "Just be patient" I reassured myself. My temper and impatience always got to my nerves within an instant. This was too petty to bother. All I could do, was keep a straight face and let my mind figure out stuff about my work in the meantime. Thinking about random things has always been something that I enjoy while traveling. Whether it's just a ride home, I let my mind drift away and brainstorm about random things.
This morning, I happened to notice a billboard for the gazillionth time. I started thinking about the models in it. Weighing the pros and cons of their career. Gradually, the thoughts lead to my own career. What shall I do? What should I do? And so on... But then, this was something I did every day.
"Why don't you drop this young lady first, son?" The sound of the old lady, who was sitting a seat away from me, was unexpected.
"I have some work to do, so it's okay, you can drop everyone else first." I responded, politely.
"Oh no! Don't say that! This fellow always messes up with the route while dropping the passengers." She said. I was amused. Then, it started...
"Whats your name, dear?" She inquired. I told her my name. She asked about where I lived and what I studied.
"English? Why on earth did you chose such a subject?" The question startled me. But it wasn't something new.
"I love it! I am enjoying my studies a lot." I replied, calmly. Traces of offense were hinting from my tone.
"Oh no, dear, no. Whats the use of such a subject? You should've studied from our school so that your basics would be strong."
"I wasn't born here." I shyly said. I did not know why I was discussing my life with this random old lady. Whatever the reason might be, it was not disturbing me. I was enjoying her company.
"Oh! Then you should drop by some time. Our principal is Irish, she'd love to meet you." I smiled, in response. She asked me about my family. I did not give extensive details.
"What about your siblings?" She asked on.
"None. I'm the only child."
"No brother, either?"
"No, ma'm."
"Oh dear, then you have to become someone great in your life. You are meant to do great things. You have to be strong. Make your parents proud, sweetheart." I looked at her face, keenly. The wrinkles on her face were well defined with time. Her expressions were calm and humble. I was a bit confused. I was used to giving such answers. Usually people sympathized with me. Her answer was unique. I felt elated. We stood outside her house. She invited me inside, but I politely refused reminding her about my work. She held my hand and said,
"It was great meeting you. You're a lovely girl. You're meant to do great things in your life. Make sure you do those things and make everyone proud. God bless you sweetheart, in everything, throughout your life." She held my hand in both of her hands and kissed my hand.
She stepped down, turned back to wish me luck for my future and left. I am quite sure I was teary eyed. This was something out of this world for me. These five minutes seemed to revive an describable spirit in me. I did not know anything about her, not even her name. All I felt was the warmth of her blessings that enveloped me.

The Battle Within

A thunder, rambles on
That voice, mumbles on
Pushing it out of my head
A scream from the dead

A tree has fallen in the forest
No sound, no difference made
This was meant for the best
Yet red still drips from the blade

Unintentional fascinations
Unwanted appeals
Breathing through damnations
Is all that one feels

Colors blinded by grays of life
Need I burn through this strife?
Moans and cries, all in vain
Is it wrong to be insane?

Resurructed strength's ashes
Blinking eclipse's flashes
Solitude reigns, tears shed
Numbing pain, numbing dread

Numb

Everything is fading away...

I do not know why I do what I do. But sometimes, you have to make choices. The choices aren't between what is right and what is wrong. It is not a matter of your reason competing with your emotions. It's something that rises from your gut, cuts through your blood vessels and chokes your throat.
Unfortunately, there is no one to blame. In that case, we usually reconsider our own actions. But the dilemma lies in the dead end we face. There is really no one to blame. Really?
But then, what would the blame give us? Satisfaction is not a matter to drag in. Attaining satisfaction is like climbing a blind ladder. You keep going higher, setting new destinations, the final destination is vague throughout life. In reality, the destination is not vague at all. The problem is that we look for destinations in this world. We try to fill the malignant vacuum inside us by labeling ourselves with pin points that highlight our life.
We are constantly in the "ready, set, go!" mode triggered by any situation we are exposed to. We are proud to declare who is more miserable.
Tolerance and acceptance are out of question. We dislike the fact that someone is ranting about their lives, ALONE. Boom! Let's join the club of lonely whiners and set new scales for puking out our unnecessary emotions. Who are we kidding? People are too busy in their own lives! Yes, there are many amazing people with high sense of dedication. But at the end of the day, we all live our own lives, breathe our own air and die our own death. No one is for the other, nor shall he ever be.

...and now, everything washes away like scribbles drawn by my finger on wet sand.

Everything has faded away.