Numb

Everything is fading away...

I do not know why I do what I do. But sometimes, you have to make choices. The choices aren't between what is right and what is wrong. It is not a matter of your reason competing with your emotions. It's something that rises from your gut, cuts through your blood vessels and chokes your throat.
Unfortunately, there is no one to blame. In that case, we usually reconsider our own actions. But the dilemma lies in the dead end we face. There is really no one to blame. Really?
But then, what would the blame give us? Satisfaction is not a matter to drag in. Attaining satisfaction is like climbing a blind ladder. You keep going higher, setting new destinations, the final destination is vague throughout life. In reality, the destination is not vague at all. The problem is that we look for destinations in this world. We try to fill the malignant vacuum inside us by labeling ourselves with pin points that highlight our life.
We are constantly in the "ready, set, go!" mode triggered by any situation we are exposed to. We are proud to declare who is more miserable.
Tolerance and acceptance are out of question. We dislike the fact that someone is ranting about their lives, ALONE. Boom! Let's join the club of lonely whiners and set new scales for puking out our unnecessary emotions. Who are we kidding? People are too busy in their own lives! Yes, there are many amazing people with high sense of dedication. But at the end of the day, we all live our own lives, breathe our own air and die our own death. No one is for the other, nor shall he ever be.

...and now, everything washes away like scribbles drawn by my finger on wet sand.

Everything has faded away.